25% of an MD

Yesterday, I was staring at the ocean, thinking about how beautiful the water looked and how I longed to be anywhere but the library. I was thinking about the old saying- "there is always light at the end of the tunnel." This may be true, but the creator of this saying did not realize that some tunnels are longer than others. And the tunnel that takes one through studying for the BMB final, is a really long one. At least now, I can see the light.

It's hard to believe that I am one quarter of a doctor. Ok, I say this preemptively contingent on passing our BMB cumulative final.

I will savor the moment and the feeling of being DONE! We are officially second year medical students, popularly know as MS2s, which means the expectation bar has just gotten so much higher. We can no longer use the excuse that "we are just first years..."

When I turned in my final to the BMB course directors, I realized that this is it. They looked at me, and said "Congratulations." It took me a second to register that they were referring to be being done with the first year of medical student.

There is something fulfilling of transitioning from being a first year medical student to a second year medical student. Although, I have yet to figure out what it really is. In this moment, I am just looking forward to 8 weeks of class-free days. Time to recollect myself and tend to the long list of things to do in San Francisco.

Just about a year ago, I was donning a black gown and square hat, during my college graduation, leaping away from college and inching towards medical school. I remember how excited I was to start medical school. There was the joy of venturing to a new city and a new life, a life that would allow me meet so many unique individuals and to live my lifelong dream of serving patients.

I had no idea what to expect. I was bright-eyed and ready to do most anything (ok not really). I was most looking forward to learning my patients stories and helping them as they coped with their medical conditions; I was excited about learning and becoming versed in all the common acronyms endemic to medical jargon. I was hopeful that I could touch my patients lives.

As I sit here reflecting and thinking back to a time not so long ago, I realize that the first year of medical has been unforgettable, surpassing my initial expectations. I have been humbled by being allowed to enter my patients lives in a whole new way, whether it be taking a medical history, performing a physical exam or assisting in a operation. I have been immersed in a unique learning experience that has taken me to new depths; I have surprised myself and seen myself grow, as I confront the social and cultural complexities of medicine.

I have been privileged to navigate the geography of the human body in anatomy lab, dissecting away skin, fascia and muscles to better view the organs of the body of our donor, who we know nothing about. I have learned so much and forgotten most of what was presented in lecture, but I do remember the patients I have worked with away and walk away with a deeper appreciation for the complexity of the human body, in all its strength and fragility. With a better understanding of the human body, I am poised to embark on the next stage of my medical school journey- working with patients and making medical diagnosis.



In less than a year (April 28, 2009), we will transition to the clerkships. I still struggle to translate my patent's chief complaint, history of present illness and symptoms into a diagnosis. The second year will hopefully allow me to better master this nebulous art. Time will tell...

With the first year pocketed away (pending no e-mail from the course directors), I will now attend to some MS 1 wrap-up activities. Here are the things I need to do:

1. Wash my white coat (it's getting a little dusty and the pockets are bulging, so I might need to purge some of the useless papers that have made residence in the pockets)
2. Bury the MS 1 syllabus somewhere in my closet (I won't be looking at these for some time)
3. Change my e-mail signature from Eisha Z, MS 1 to Eisha Z, MS 2
4. Clean my room (and apartment)
5. Write out my summer to do list.
6. Proceed to completing things on my San Francisco "to do" list (it's a long, ambitious list that mostly is concerned with visiting different neighborhoods, hiking, visiting museums, eating at specific restaurants, spending time with my friends, running, swimming, learning to surf, and the list goes on and on...)

I am looking to forward to the summer vacation. Albeit, it's not a vacation in the traditional sense; I will be sticking around San Francisco and completing a research project and curriculum.

In looking back to my first year, I have really enjoyed writing in this blog; I have no idea who reads this and what others think about me and my path in medicine. I certainly hope I have been able to share my thoughts and reflections to give others a closer view of medicine, as I begin to see medicine. Most importantly, I hope you have enjoyed reading and gained something. I look forward to continue writing (I need to update my profile to reflect that I am a second year medical student). If you stay tuned, you will invariably see some of my latest photographs, hear about my work and life.

For now, I am going to cease the day, knowing that I am 25% of the way to becoming a doctoring! Wow!