The Black Box

The city sleeps. The bay is dotted with gold specs of light as if someone threw glitter onto a black canvas. The ride is bumpy and dizzying. As the city whizzes by and we approach the airport, I feel that my life for the last couple of months has been something of a blur like the early morning drive.

This makes my fourth airplane ride. And I am finally traveling to my last interview. I am venturing to the midwest, where it is forecasted to be around 28 degrees with a a forty per cent chance of snow. As instructed by my midwest friends, I have packed layers of clothes. Along with the long wool coat, I am wearing boats lined with synthetic fur (not my first choice of shoes given their boxy appearance, but useful for warmth purposes).

Despite the bitter cold, I look forward to seeing snow. It will be an interesting change in scenery.

Now that's it's January, I feel guilty for being somewhat amiss in updating my blog. I wish I could have a steady stream of insightful entries. Unfortunately, my schedule has been somewhat fractured. And in my two weeks of vacation, I decided to just lounge on my parent's couch, savor the home-cooked meals, catch up with family and friends, watch reruns of Ugly Betty (one of my favorite shows), and run (during the few days that it did not rain).

In truth, I did do something. I spent a great deal of thinking and reflecting on my life. I know it sounds existentialist. If I could sum up my thoughts, it would amount to mostly scattered memories of my life (the past) and a large black box with a humongous question mark representing the future as I think about residency. The big question really is where will I end up. And without knowing this, I can't help but feel a little bit anxious and excited at the same time.

For now, there are lots of questions and anxiety. In a few short months a single envelop may hold the answers, or just create more questions. We'll see...